Infertility struggles, body disconnect, and a happy ending | Austin Boudoir Studio

While there are endless reasons for a boudoir session, I find the common ground amongst my clients is often that they have become disconnected with their love for themselves and/or their bodies for one reason or another. Whether that be weight gain, an illness, the loss of a family member, a tumultuous relationship, or even just struggling with the concept of aging. 

It's important to remember that a boudoir experience with Kara Marie Boudoir is NOT just about sexy photos. It's about reconnecting with yourself, embracing your womanhood, and getting reacquainted with your femininity.  Regardless of WHY we've become disconnected with those things, this experience will help. It will. You'll appreciate yourself and your body a little more, you'll come to realize that you ARE stunning, sexy, and badass just the way you are.  You'll reconnect with the woman inside...the woman aside from the day-to-day routines and motherhood and career and relationship. 

BOUDOIR IS ABOUT YOU. It's not about your partner or spouse. Your ex who made you feel unworthy. Your health issues. Your extra 20, 30, 40 pounds. It's about who you are INSIDE and it's about helping you to love who you are outside, too. 

THIS story just has me all kinds of weepy. Miss T came to me after struggling with infertility and growing to dislike her body. It's a heartbreaking story that I, unfortunately, hear all too often. Read her words below....as well as the happy ending :) 

"I decided that this was a session that I needed because for the past couple of years, my husband and I have struggled with fertility. Through many rounds of medications, surgeries and so many other tests, I just didn't feel much like myself anymore. I also grew to hate my body."

"At the beginning of this year, I started running to feel better and stronger. The early morning was the perfect quiet time to hit the pavement and work through my feelings, or not, and just push my body to things I had previously told myself I couldn't do."

"My perspective began to change and I slowly started to love a body that I still didn't fully recognize. This photo shoot pushed me over the edge and I finally saw my body as strong and able again."

"My overall morale has improved greatly since the beginning of this year. Not only am I happy in my skin and with myself, I now can accept when my husband says the same thing to me."

"Before, I struggled so much with guilt that we couldn't have a baby and he has always told me that my body was beautiful but I just couldn't believe it. I know that Gods timing is perfect, but I have to believe the shoot was part of His plan. The same week my beautiful book of photos was delivered, we found out that we are pregnant!"

WAHOOOOOOO! Pregnant!!!!!!! Yassss! I certainly don't want to falsely advertise that a boudoir experience will knock you up...but I can't tell you how many clients of mine report that they are expecting really shortly after their session!  This thrills me to bits. 

Congratulations to Mrs and Mr T on their news!

The Glowing Miss B | Maternity Boudoir

If a camera was pointed in my direction at any point in the third trimester of either of my pregnancies, you wouldn't want to be the one holding the camera.  Ooooohhhh no. I remember how terrible I felt, how terrible I *thought* I looked based on how I felt, and how I cringed or flipped the bird anytime a phone or camera was pointed in my direction. 

Yet to this day I regret not documenting my pregnancies more thoroughly.  Looking back on the few photos I *do* have, it was actually a beautiful thing. I was growing my little muffins who mean more to me than anything. And I will never experience pregnancy again. There's no do overs. You can't recreate those photos. So, I urge you mammas....TAKE THE PHOTOS. Hire a photographer you love and document the crap out of your growing bump. Whether it be maternity boudoir, a beauty session, or a family portrait session.

Then there's Miss B. She knew that she would cherish these photos forever, and I'm SO BLEEPING STOKED that she chose me to document them. The session couldn't have gone more effortless, she couldn't have been any more stunning, and the final product most definitely could not be beat. I ADORE THESE PHOTOS AND THE WOMAN IN THEM! You GO, Miss B. 

"It was perfect. Pure and simple." ~Miss B

"Kara made things so easy and natural for me. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. It helped boost my confidence at the end of my pregnancy just when I needed it most. I can't thank her enough."

Seriously!? Seriously. S.T.U.N.N.I.N.G.

I urge you, mammas, get in front of the camera. If you find the right photographer (*clears throat*), you will not regret it. But if you hide from the camera like I did, you probably will. 

THANK YOU, Miss B for choosing me and for allowing me to share your images! 

Another thank you to Lauren of Lola Beauty for killin' it on hair and makeup, as per usual! 

Loving Photos of Yourself | Miss A | Austin Boudoir Studio

There probably won't be enough client stories and reviews that will make you believe that even YOU will love images of yourself.  But let's try for just one more, shall we?

You see, I *get* it. I'm a woman... well...a GIRL if you want to consider my reaction to photos of myself. I nitpick. I'm not proud of it, but I do. I am getting MUCH better about that...yet I seem to have a really long road ahead to getting to the point that I love myself from every angle, posed and unposed, candid or not. In the meantime, there's professional photographers like yours truly. 

I wish I kept track of the number of women who came in to me saying they were SO nervous about this experience because they aren't photogenic, they hate photos of themselves, they aren't as thin as the women on my website, etc etc.  Guess who calls bullshit? MEEEEEE!  It's not my client's job to take amazing photos of them. It's mine. And I will. And you will leave your photo reveal saying "I cannot believe I LOVE photos of MYSELF." It's a really awesome feeling....and this client here got to experience it!  

Miss A speaks on her Kara Marie Boudoir experience:

"The experience was surreal. I didn't know how to prepare for it other than the typical "let me lose weight and tone up before I strip down in front of a camera!"

"The week of my shoot was funky - I was in an emotional headspace and feeling pretty down. Needless to say, on the day of my shoot, I did not feel like being sexy. Luckily, Kara made me feel 100% comfortable right off the bat. She explained what to expect during the shoot and how to make a sexy pouty face. And just like that, the shoot was over and I could eat fried chicken again."

"The day of the photo reveal could not come soon enough. I was feeling happy and normal again and SO ready to see the pictures. This was far more exciting than the shoot itself. I couldn't believe how much I loved the pictures."

“Most people don’t LOVE pictures of themselves, but damn ... I L.O.V.E. these pictures.”

— Miss A

Makeup by Kendall of Mayhem 

"I cannot wait to have the prints in my hands and the art on my walls. If you want to feel great about yourself in a way you haven't felt before, you must have a shoot with Kara."

" I'm a bit shocked to see myself in a such a pretty, sexy, and natural way."

" I usually try to take "selfies" so I have control over the picture and can decide if I like the outcome. I wasn't sure if I would like pictures of myself taken by someone else. Honestly, I was most terrified of seeing professional pictures and still picking myself apart in each image. This is where 'trust the professional' really comes into play. Kara knows what she's doing and DAMN it felt good seeing myself like that."

" I feel excited and happy with the pictures, I want to show everyone! And I want to tell everyone that you will look like that in your own photoshoot, too."

“You will look hot, sexy, beautiful, and like yourself. And by the way, I am not staring at them picking myself apart.”

"I wanted to add that I did this shoot for myself - these pictures are not for a significant other or fiance. These are for me to show myself how beautiful I am and to preserve when I'm 80 and no longer have my younger body. I highly recommend everyone do this, even if there is no special recipient in mind - YOU can be the special recipient of these beautiful images."

And if you're wishing and hoping that she printed some of these for her wall, you'll be pleased to know she went BIG....ANNNND went home!!! <3 

YASSSSS!!!!!! Just another example of a woman in shock at how much she loved photos of herself. She walked away with boosted confidence, self love, a mega thick boudoir album, and the most badass wall art pieces for over her bed that anyone could ask for! 

I know it's not always easy to place your trust in a stranger when it comes to seeing yourself in this manner. But, I assure you, you are in VERY CAPABLE hands. I photograph each and every client as I would want to be photographed. From the moment you book your shoot experience with me, you are in my hands, you are under my wing, and you are part of the Kara Marie Boudoir family. Consider me Mother Goose...I'll take amazing care of you.  

Thank you to Miss A for the amazing blog feature! You.are.ahmazinnnnggg!

Ready to trust me?? Good. Let's chat. 

A shattered woman on the mend | Austin Boudoir Studio

If you've learned only one thing by following along with my work and reading my blog, I hope it's that my message is about SO MUCH MORE than sexy photos. So. Much. More.  There is a very specific reason that I choose to share words direct from my client's mouths along with their photos. Those words tell the story of each woman, and those stories bring us together.

The images aren't anywhere near as important as what the images represent for the women in them.

The story that I share today is the very REAL and raw testimony of a recent client who has been working on putting her shattered world back together after the stillbirth of her daughter. SO many of you, unfortunately, can relate to such a loss. Things like this often cause us to shut down emotionally, focus on the negative, and lose our relationship with ourselves....lose our sense of womanhood.  

It's up to us to attempt to find ways of healing and reconnecting with ourselves and our bodies after such mental trauma. It was an absolute honor to be a part of helping Miss M get a little bit of herself back. 

She shares:

"After the stillbirth of my daughter I was a woman shattered. With her stillbirth came a complete disconnect from my sense of "womanhood.

I was so angry with my body. I wanted to separate from my physical self, to ignore it. I'd lost my strong, sexy, confident self. I was embarrassed. Others couldn't see why I was 25 pounds overweight. I had no child to hold. And yet, honestly I was holding onto the weight because it reminded me of what was. I wasn't ready to let that go.

"I'm working to rebuild my relationship with my physical self one piece at a time. This photoshoot was a big piece. Kara has beautifully captured me as I am today. She's frozen my body in time.  This body, the one that grew my precious baby girl, will forever stand still in those beautiful images. I can begin to let go of what was and move into what will be."

“I am finding ways to remind myself that I am a woman. Her death does not change that fact. And these photos are helping me rebuild a broken relationship piece-by-piece, image-by-image.”

— Miss M

"For someone who has an innate anxiety around new places and people this could have been bad. Thank you for making me feel comfortable and at ease."

I'm so grateful to Miss M for choosing me to be a part of her journey to reconnect with herself and her womanhood...and infinitely grateful to her for sharing her story with all of us. I know it will be such an inspiration to so many women who have experienced a similar loss. My heart breaks for every single woman who tells me a story similar to this. Yet I am so proud that they are taking this huge step towards loving on themselves with a boudoir experience.  If you think that a boudoir experience may help you cope/recover/mend/breathe/smile again, I encourage you to reach out! 

I'm in a hugging kind of mood, so I'm sending virtual hugs to all of you, and an extra one to you, Miss M! 

The Best Birthday Present for Yourself | Austin Boudoir Studio

Gone are the days that you need an excuse to have a boudoir experience. When I first dipped my toe into the pool that was boudoir photography, nearly every client was doing the shoot as a wedding present to their new spouse. 

Over the last several years, I've loved watching the mindset shift in my clientele who is now doing it for their DAMN selves! Yeah!

Miss Y here is one of them! I met her at an event several months back and I was thrilled when she booked herself a session for her 35th birthday. 

She said: "Every time I've stalked the website or Instagram I was 100% sure you only posted pictures women who looked like models...when I got my pictures back I couldn't believe it!!! I looked like those women...like a model!"

^^^^^ THIS. ^^^^^ So so many of my clients say this to me when they first reach out. They are concerned that they aren't as pretty or as fit or as confident as the women on my website. They are convinced that I could not possibly get as good of an outcome from them. I prove them wrong each and every time, and I kind of gloat a little bit about it, too ;) 

"I had been feeling very self-conscious and simply not good about myself for a while, this experience changed my whole opinion!!! Taking theses pictures for my 35th birthday was the best possible present I could have given myself! "

" My whole outlook had changed! Actually it had changed the moment you started taking my picture! Thank you for making me feel so amazing!!!"

“ I’ve walked with my head higher since I stepped out of the studio after the shoot...I’ve NEVER felt better!!!”

— Miss Y

A VERRRRRRRRYYY Happy Birthday to Miss Y!!! She looks like a model, doesn't she? Yeah, I know. ;) 

Who else would like me to prove them wrong? Let's chat.

When you're confident... | Austin Boudoir Studio

Sometimes, I have a hard time figuring out what to say. 

I know, I know, it's hard to believe. Especially if you've ever been in a room with me. 

But blogging is not always easy. I always have tons of images to share, but often hold onto them until something profound comes to mind to say with them. Sadly, my brain is not often inundated with profoundness ;) 

So I'm going to let someone else say it for me. It's a quote that I wrote down (and cannot for the life of me find a source for, just know it wasn't me who thought up such eloquent words) that resonated with me like crazy. And it also is a fabulous representation of the confident images in this blog post.

YES. This. Insecurity is the death of your true self. Be strong, be real, be honest, be confident. And if you can't do that on your own, I can help you. ;)

Thank you so much to Michelle Chevelle for rocking out this Urban Undercover content shoot-turned-photographer play time. 

Michelle Chevelle for Urban Undercover

Michelle Chevelle for Urban Undercover

Yay for Giveaways and blowing yourself up! | Austin Boudoir Studio

I WANT YOU TO BLOW YOURSELF UP.

When clients are preparing for their boudoir experience with me, they shy away from the idea that they could possibly want a large photo of themselves anywhere on their walls. I speculate that is because they've never seen an image of themselves that makes them feel all sorts of warm and fuzzies, certainly not one that was a piece of art worthy of the wall. 

As they sit in their photo reveal and watch a slideshow containing image after image of stunning beauty....and then realize that woman in the photos is THEM...the idea of putting THAT image up on their wall becomes a right of passage.

There's always that ONE image that makes them feel all the (good) feelings-- beautiful, sexy, strong, powerful, independent, courageous, and BADASS. THAT is the one. That is the image that shouldn't be confined to just an album that you occasionally thumb through. THAT is the image that should be on prominent display in your home so you can see it every single day. 

I'm no stranger to the camera. Between my 5-year-long self-portrait project and my annual birthday boudoir shoot, I've got a sea of images of myself. But then there's that ONE. The one that made ME feel all those feelings.  So I blew it up. I invested in a gorgeous fine art acrylic for my bedroom wall. When I wake up and roll over every morning, there she is. It's me...but it's the best me. It's the me that I aspire to be every day. It's the me that's "in there somewhere" underneath the to-do lists, daily stresses, and tired mom. It's the me that I have to remind myself that I truly am. And I get to see her every day, as if she's giving me a high-five as I walk past her to head into the bathroom and put myself together for the day. 

Me holding "THAT" image of me. A self-portrait that I had blown up to a fine art acrylic piece. 

I can't quite explain how powerful of a feeling that is. But it's a feeling that I want every woman who works with me to experience. Albums are amazing, they really are. It's important to have your boudoir photos in print form to have something to flip through forever. But THAT image. That ONE image, you'll know the one...that is the image that belongs somewhere you will see it ALWAYS. 

A snapshot of my morning view. *self high-five*

ALL of this is to say that I am having an acrylic art giveaway.

I want to gift this daily warm-and-fuzzy feeling to one of my clients. Oh, and it's a $2,000 value. So it's sort of a big deal. 

In my efforts to make boudoir more "mainstream" amongst women wanting to do this for THEMSELVES, it is important for us to share the message with others about how it makes us feel. There's no shame or harm in gifting boudoir images to your partner. But let's face it, your partner is going to be in love with the images because they are in love with the subject. The harder sell is creating images of a woman that SHE LOVES OF HERSELF. And THAT is what I make it my mission to do. 

HOW TO ENTER:

1. Post a photo of yourself holding your Kara Marie Boudoir album on social media. This can be as creative or straight-forward as you fancy. 

2. Tag @Karamarieboudoir (on Instagram) , Kara Marie Boudoir on Facebook, and/or @KaraMarie_T on Twitter. 

3. Caption the photo with your feelings on what the photos inside your album represent to you. This can be a few words, a few sentences, or a few paragraphs.

IF YOU'RE NOT YET A KARA MARIE BOUDOIR CLIENT BUT YOU WANT TO BE....

Post a photo of yourself feeling beautiful and caption it with why you want/need a boudoir experience for yourself.

Please feel free to tag your friends who truly need this experience for themselves, but don't spam ;) 

Winner will be selected and announced on Wednesday, June 15th. 

Skipping Naked | Austin Boudoir Studio

The ultimate compliment from my clients about their experience is that, within a few minutes of shooting with me, they FORGOT they weren't wearing much/anything. FORGOT. Can you imagine?

If you're anything like me, you are VERY aware when you are scantily clad and there are eyeballs on you. 

Being a boudoir photographer involves far more than the technical side of photography. WAY more. In fact, I would say that technical savvy is my least valuable trait. Being able to make a woman feel beautiful and comfortable enough in her own skin that she can not only survive an hour of being photographed in the buff, but ENJOY it ANNNND look amazing doing it!? Yeah. I'd say that's my super power. 

I've had boudoir experiences myself with really brilliant photographic artists. There is no denying their work is absolutely incredible and the finished product is museum-worthy. But I struggled through the entire shoot. Felt like someone else. Felt objectified. Felt dirty. And not the good way. Felt LESS confident in myself walking out than when I went in to the shoot. 

I guess you could say my bad experiences with other photographers really helped fine tune my methods, demonstrating what NOT to do. 

So when clients like Miss S say "I had such a great time, I was skipping naked through the studio at the end!", I know I've done what I've set out to do. 

It is not your job to make yourself feel comfortable for your shoot. It's mine. And I'm good at that. Like...really good at that. 

It's a smattering of psychology courses, some of the best customer service training in the country, and, of course, being a self-conscious woman myself. My photography skills are on the back burner of what makes my clients so happy. But sometimes that's what gets people in the door in the first place ;) 

I've known Miss S for a couple of years now. She's a fiery little ball of energy and sunshine, and I was so excited when she made the decision to get her gorgeous booty into my studio to celebrate herself. 

So take a cue from Miss S, here, and challenge yourself to come in to Kara Marie Boudoir for yourself....so you can find yourself skipping through my studio naked without a care. It's quite liberating. I dare you. ;) 

On feeling SEXY | Austin Boudoir Studio

I say it often:  at Kara Marie Boudoir studio, it's about more than sexy pictures. 

The photos are most definitely a perk. But, you see, it's about how the photos, the whole experience, makes you FEEL.  

When you FEEL sexy...damn. There's just no feeling like the confidence boost you get when you know you look damn good. And for many of us, that feeling doesn't present itself very often. Certainly not as often as it used to. 

There's often confusion about the purpose of boudoir photography. I think that's because there are so many different interpretations of it. Some boudoir photographers present their work to the public as the ultimate gift for your spouse.  Some boudoir photographers present their work to the public as "naughty photos". 

Boudoir photography is something very different for me and for my clients. It's not about doing something "naughty" and it's usually not about doing something for anyone else. It's about getting that feeling back. It's about FEELING SEXY AND STRONG. It's about knowing that she's still "in there somewhere". It's about confidence. And it's about loving yourself...or at least learning to.

Can you do all that with your clothes on? Yes. Obviously you can. So why strip down? 

Let me ask you...isn't that when you feel the most vulnerable? Isn't that when you feel the most uncertain of yourself? For most women, it is. I know that feeling of "OH GOD. OH MY GOD. WHAT is THAT!?" as I spot a new bulge or dimple on my naked body in the mirror.  I know how devastating it is to see that photo that someone tagged you in on Facebook...the one you didn't even realize they were taking and you look like........ ***UN-TAG! UN-TAG!!! RED ALERT!***

It's a lot harder for us to love our stripped-down selves. But I know that if I can show you how incredible you are, how beautiful you are, how SEXY you are, WITHOUT your clothes...that you can rock some new found self-esteem whether you're wearing anything or not. 

SEXY is not something that you should only feel for your partner. SEXY is something you should feel for yourself. It's infinitely powerful. There's no telling what you can do with that kind of confidence on your side.

Please read on for words from Kendall on her third (or fourth?!) boudoir experience with me. 

"I can't even begin to explain how I feel when I leave a shoot with Kara...Every time I see my images, it brings tears to my eyes. I can't believe it's me."

“ I’ve never felt sexier. I never felt more womanly. ”

"I am harder on myself than anyone else. It's hard to see yourself through someone else's eyes. Seeing myself through Kara's lens has helped me to be a little less hard on myself. Allow myself more time to enjoy life...and not obsess about the small things. "

"Kara you are truly so talented and you give a gift to women that truly has no price tag. I can't ever thank you enough for sharing that with me!"

I get the emails every.single.day.  Emails from women who have been following along for years, wishing they could be like the women that I post on my blog/website/social media. The assure me that they are nowhere near as sexy or confident or photogenic as my usual clients. I assure them, without even seeing them, that they are. 

These aren't models. They are women just like you. They've got crazy lives and children and baggage and emotions and insecurities.

They don't come in to me and throw their clothes off and say "OK! I'm ready to be naked! I know I'm hot, so let's DO THIS!!!".  They come in nervous and sweating through their makeup application.  They come in with outfits they "can't believe" they're going to wear in daylight. They come in doubting their beauty. They come in thinking that they are going to be the first woman I'm not able to get a single good photo of. 

I prove them wrong. Every time. 

Let me show you.

EVERYONE is nervous....at first. | Austin Boudoir Studio

This gem....THIS gem of a woman! We had been in "talks" about a boudoir experience for quite some time. Eventually, Miss S finally pulled the trigger before her wedding as a gift to her new husband and herself. She had such a cool demeanor about her. I loved that she wanted to go with a Brigitte Bardot-esque hair and makeup style. It suited her beautifully. 

"Completely, totally, 100% one of the best experiences of my life! I left already thinking about what to wear (OR NOT) for my next shoot. Kara makes you want to take your clothes off...for real!"

This comment made me chuckle big time!!  100% of my clients are nervous about their boudoir experience. At first.  Their nerves are usually settled a bit during the makeup. But then I take over. And I REAAALLLY take over. There isn't much of a chance for you to feel unsure about what you're doing. Because I tell you EXACTLY what I want you to do. And I show you. And all you really have to do is be here with me, and follow along! 

Within the first 10 clicks of my shutter, I witness my clients transition from deer in headlights to a state of relief, and soon after, to a woman who is having SO much fun and is SO at ease that she forgets that she's not wearing much. Truly. Not an exaggeration. 

I know that you probably have a hard time standing in front of the mirror naked and REALLY taking a good look at yourself. I know that you cringe every time you lean forward and see what gravity does to your boobs and belly. I know that, because I experience it myself. And I know that most of my clients do as well. We're women, and unfortunately that's pretty typical for us. 

However, what I want you to know is that I take all of this into consideration. Even if I don't see the flaws on your body that you do, I know that the insecurities exist. I don't write them off as my client just being "blinded by insecurities." 

But guess WHAT?! I am really good at this.  I don't do a lot of tooting of my own horn, but I know that first and foremost I am REALLY good at making people feel comfortable. Really comfortable. Like "Oh? I can't just walk out of the studio in my birthday suit?" comfortable.  Second to that, I understand women's bodies and their insecurities. I know how to pose women of all shapes and sizes. I know how to use light strategically to make you look your absolute best. 

So when Miss "S" says "Kara makes you want to take your clothes off!", I take that as the highest form of flattery...because I know how difficult it can be for a woman to just take her clothes off. Let alone in front of a stranger WITH a camera. 

Just know that I'm not a stranger. From the second you send me the first e-mail that starts with "I can't believe I'm finally emailing you about this....", we are friends.

"I was shocked at how at ease I felt from beginning to end, and how easy she made it to look/feel like a total babe. I honestly didn't believe the woman in the photos was me! Super hot!!"

"I want to show everyone!!! Even though they're a gift for the (future) hubs. I want to print giant photos of myself and hang them all over the house for everyone to see. I'm soooo proud!"

**Note from Kara: A common side effect of a boudoir experience with me = lots and lots of gorgeous wall art!

Thank you to Miss S for being a firecracker during her photo session, and for allowing me to share her photos and her testimony with the world. 

If this blog post speaks to you, and you're ready to start the conversation...let's chat, dahhling!